Yesterday was one of those days where there are so many observations to make about Colombia and Colombians. Even if my phone had enough memory for a Twitter app, I wouldn’t have tweeted this, but let’s just say that if I had live-tweeted yesterday, it would have looked something like this:
12:55pm – Gooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaalllllllllllllllllll #Colombia
1pm – A little loco comes running into the bedroom screaming and yelling. He flies on the bed and appears to be having some kind of fit.
1:02pm – The little loco starts jumping on the bed brandishing pillows and repeating “Gano! Gano!” (They won, they won)
2:05pm – Time to get ready to go to a family birthday party at the opposite end of Bogota #familycommitments
2:10pm – I want to wear a dress, but everyone else will be in jeans so I guess I’ll acquiesce
2:25pm – On our way to the #Transmilieno station
2:29pm – We need to buy a present, chocolates from Carrulla
2:31pm – Uh oh, looks like some kind of riot ahead.
2:32pm – It’s a sea of yellow shirts throwing cornflour and spraying silly string everywhere. How do we avoid this?
2:33pm – They are blockading the road, there are traffic jams, beeping horns, mess and people cheering
2:33pm – What?!? They are even spraying foam into rolled down car windows #chaos
2:35pm – I’m told a gaggle of people on the median strip are surrounding a woman hit by a car #sickinthestomach
2:37pm – The pricing on supermarket shelves rarely matches up with the product. Where are the $18,000 chocs?
2:40pm – Oh great, #cardrejected. x2
2:41pm – Now we only have about 15,000 pesos and we’re going to the boondocks. I need emergency taxi ride money.
2:43pm – Taking the side route to avoid the #crazyColombians and to exit unscathed
2:43pm – Feel sad for the woman being stretchered into the ambulance #sickinthestomach #nosyonlookers
2:46pm – These Colombians are #outofcontrol. It’s mayhem in the streets
2:46pm – Police are out n about but so many people yelling, cheering and blowing those horrible horns
2:48pm – I don’t feel very safe. What’s it going to be like at the other end of #Bogota?
2:49pm – Made mi novio call his aunt for an update on the situation in Bosa
2:51pm – Made him call again to ask how far we have to walk from the last bus stop
2:51pm – Okay, it’s just a block. I guess that should be okay #stillfeelinguneasy
2:54pm – Phew, card worked at #Bancolombia. Now we have emergency taxi cash.
3pm – Hand over $50,000 and my card at the Transmilieno stop. Teller shakes her head. Can’t hear over the noise
3:01pm – Apparently this station doesn’t recharge cards. #cranky #whydidtheymakemebuyonethen
3:03pm – Which bus to Las Americas? #Transmilienoconfusion
3:04pm – Darn, the F14 just passed.
3:04pm – The F14 doesn’t stop here. Just get on the next one.
3:10pm – Change here or at Jimenez? Yes, no, yes, no …. get off!!
3:10pm – F14 right behind. Woohoo! Seats for all three of us #Transmilienomilagro
3:20pm – We’re practically the only people on the bus not wearing yell0w jerseys
3:25pm – Street watching on the way south. Mostly quiet, most shops closed. #ChaosOnlyInNorth
3:45pm – The centre is also full of #crazyColombians
4pm – Passing Pradera outlets. I want to go shopping!
4pm – Haha “Pradera Outlet Factory” jajaa #Englishclasses
4:15pm – Finally we are arriving at Portal Las Americas. Long way from home.
4:16pm – I love that the feeder buses are called ‘alimentadores’. Obvious translation, but still sounds cool.
4:16pm – I didn’t think Colombians knew how to line up neatly and patiently for a bus #Transmilieno
4:20pm – Here’s our bus. We’re not going to fit.
4:21pm – We made it on, no seat. #squishy
4:24pm – This road is worse than the 4wd track to Ciudad Perdida. #hugepotholes #ridiculous
4:30pm – Feeling #claustrophobic. I don’t know how so many people do this every day. #Transmilieno
4:32pm – D just called it Transmi Lleno (full) #jajaja
4:40pm – Esta vaina es leeeeeejos
4:43pm – I wish we had left earlier. #readytogohomealready
4:51pm – Patience has just about to run out. Let me off this bus!
4:53pm – I think this is our stop. Get off. Push, shove.
4:55pm – Where is the building? #neverbeenherebefore #endoftheearth
4:55pm – I think we got off a stop too early. #walking
5pm – Me: what’s the birthday lady’s name? Novio: I don’t remember. What? She’s his step-grandmother.
5:01pm – This is it. Entering the conjunto and chasing down the rellies ahead.
5:01pm – Who’s that in the green #dress?
5:03pm – Sister-in-law looks fab in a dress. Never seen her in one before. #wishIhadwornadresstoo
5:05pm – The reception room is set theatre style #weird #antisocial
5:06pm – Greetings and kisses all round.
5:07pm – The birthday granny remembered my name. Still don’t remember hers. #Awkward #justuseSenora
5:11pm – 2 month old baby thrust upon me by the mother. #justrollwithit
5:13pm – Am told that #babies like me. Waiting to hear the usual question…
5:14pm – When are you going to have a baby? #unavoidablequestion #notodavia
5:20pm – Staring at the fields & mountain out the window #Bogotacitylimits #woopwoop
5:24pm – Food or drink haven’t been served yet. #onColombiantime #neveranynibbles #setplan
5:35pm – Found out that we will be having #lechona. Yum. Spit pig stuffed with rice & meat. #crackle
6pm – Mariachi band! #morepopularthaninMexico #thereisamariachiwoman
6:03pm – Mariachi guitarist’s white pants are very, very tight.
6:30pm – Still no drinks. Novio’s gone to the shop.
6:38pm – OMG I think a #priest is here to give #communion
6:38pm – He just put a robe on over his party outfit
6:40pm – Have never heard of #communion at a birthday party. Wonder if he’s taking confessions too
6:49pm – It appears he’s the nephew of the birthday granny
6:49pm – And he’s giving a #mass not just communion! #catholicism
6:52pm – Is it rude not to stand and kneel when everyone else is? #notcatholic #canIpretendIdontunderstand
6:55pm – Talking about the great mystery of God being 1 but 3 different things & and the message is we can be different but unified
7:04pm – Birthday #mass is over. Now the babies are being blessed.
7:20pm – #Lechona is being served.
7:45pm – We got served last despite being closest to the kitchen 😦 #lovelechona
8:05pm – Meeting more extended, removed and estranged family members. Colombian families are confusing.
8:20pm – Hometime. Getting a lift with the bro-in-law. #awesome #lucky #nonightrideTransmilieno
8:30pm – Birthday granny was a nun for 20 years! #thatexplainsthemass
8:31pm – Happy 80th birthday Dona Elia!
9pm – Family commitments met for a little while. #happyColombianfamily #phew