A crazy day of Colombian cliches
Yesterday was one of those days where there are so many observations to make about Colombia and Colombians. Even if my phone had enough memory for a Twitter app, I wouldn’t have tweeted this, but let’s just say that if I had live-tweeted yesterday, it would have looked something like this:
12:55pm – Gooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaalllllllllllllllllll #Colombia
1pm – A little loco comes running into the bedroom screaming and yelling. He flies on the bed and appears to be having some kind of fit.
1:02pm – The little loco starts jumping on the bed brandishing pillows and repeating “Gano! Gano!” (They won, they won)
2:05pm – Time to get ready to go to a family birthday party at the opposite end of Bogota #familycommitments
2:10pm – I want to wear a dress, but everyone else will be in jeans so I guess I’ll acquiesce
2:25pm – On our way to the #Transmilieno station
2:29pm – We need to buy a present, chocolates from Carrulla
2:31pm – Uh oh, looks like some kind of riot ahead.
2:32pm – It’s a sea of yellow shirts throwing cornflour and spraying silly string everywhere. How do we avoid this?
2:33pm – They are blockading the road, there are traffic jams, beeping horns, mess and people cheering
2:33pm – What?!? They are even spraying foam into rolled down car windows #chaos
2:35pm – I’m told a gaggle of people on the median strip are surrounding a woman hit by a car #sickinthestomach
2:37pm – The pricing on supermarket shelves rarely matches up with the product. Where are the $18,000 chocs?
2:40pm – Oh great, #cardrejected. x2
2:41pm – Now we only have about 15,000 pesos and we’re going to the boondocks. I need emergency taxi ride money.
2:43pm – Taking the side route to avoid the #crazyColombians and to exit unscathed
2:43pm – Feel sad for the woman being stretchered into the ambulance #sickinthestomach #nosyonlookers
2:46pm – These Colombians are #outofcontrol. It’s mayhem in the streets
2:46pm – Police are out n about but so many people yelling, cheering and blowing those horrible horns
2:48pm – I don’t feel very safe. What’s it going to be like at the other end of #Bogota?
2:49pm – Made mi novio call his aunt for an update on the situation in Bosa
2:51pm – Made him call again to ask how far we have to walk from the last bus stop
2:51pm – Okay, it’s just a block. I guess that should be okay #stillfeelinguneasy
2:54pm – Phew, card worked at #Bancolombia. Now we have emergency taxi cash.
3pm – Hand over $50,000 and my card at the Transmilieno stop. Teller shakes her head. Can’t hear over the noise
3:01pm – Apparently this station doesn’t recharge cards. #cranky #whydidtheymakemebuyonethen
3:03pm – Which bus to Las Americas? #Transmilienoconfusion
3:04pm – Darn, the F14 just passed.
3:04pm – The F14 doesn’t stop here. Just get on the next one.
3:10pm – Change here or at Jimenez? Yes, no, yes, no …. get off!!
3:10pm – F14 right behind. Woohoo! Seats for all three of us #Transmilienomilagro
3:20pm – We’re practically the only people on the bus not wearing yell0w jerseys
3:25pm – Street watching on the way south. Mostly quiet, most shops closed. #ChaosOnlyInNorth
3:45pm – The centre is also full of #crazyColombians
4pm – Passing Pradera outlets. I want to go shopping!
4pm – Haha “Pradera Outlet Factory” jajaa #Englishclasses
4:15pm – Finally we are arriving at Portal Las Americas. Long way from home.
4:16pm – I love that the feeder buses are called ‘alimentadores’. Obvious translation, but still sounds cool.
4:16pm – I didn’t think Colombians knew how to line up neatly and patiently for a bus #Transmilieno
4:20pm – Here’s our bus. We’re not going to fit.
4:21pm – We made it on, no seat. #squishy
4:24pm – This road is worse than the 4wd track to Ciudad Perdida. #hugepotholes #ridiculous
4:30pm – Feeling #claustrophobic. I don’t know how so many people do this every day. #Transmilieno
4:32pm – D just called it Transmi Lleno (full) #jajaja
4:40pm – Esta vaina es leeeeeejos
4:43pm – I wish we had left earlier. #readytogohomealready
4:51pm – Patience has just about to run out. Let me off this bus!
4:53pm – I think this is our stop. Get off. Push, shove.
4:55pm – Where is the building? #neverbeenherebefore #endoftheearth
4:55pm – I think we got off a stop too early. #walking
5pm – Me: what’s the birthday lady’s name? Novio: I don’t remember. What? She’s his step-grandmother.
5:01pm – This is it. Entering the conjunto and chasing down the rellies ahead.
5:01pm – Who’s that in the green #dress?
5:03pm – Sister-in-law looks fab in a dress. Never seen her in one before. #wishIhadwornadresstoo
5:05pm – The reception room is set theatre style #weird #antisocial
5:06pm – Greetings and kisses all round.
5:07pm – The birthday granny remembered my name. Still don’t remember hers. #Awkward #justuseSenora
5:11pm – 2 month old baby thrust upon me by the mother. #justrollwithit
5:13pm – Am told that #babies like me. Waiting to hear the usual question…
5:14pm – When are you going to have a baby? #unavoidablequestion #notodavia
5:20pm – Staring at the fields & mountain out the window #Bogotacitylimits #woopwoop
5:24pm – Food or drink haven’t been served yet. #onColombiantime #neveranynibbles #setplan
5:35pm – Found out that we will be having #lechona. Yum. Spit pig stuffed with rice & meat. #crackle
6pm – Mariachi band! #morepopularthaninMexico #thereisamariachiwoman
6:03pm – Mariachi guitarist’s white pants are very, very tight.
6:30pm – Still no drinks. Novio’s gone to the shop.
6:38pm – OMG I think a #priest is here to give #communion
6:38pm – He just put a robe on over his party outfit
6:40pm – Have never heard of #communion at a birthday party. Wonder if he’s taking confessions too
6:49pm – It appears he’s the nephew of the birthday granny
6:49pm – And he’s giving a #mass not just communion! #catholicism
6:52pm – Is it rude not to stand and kneel when everyone else is? #notcatholic #canIpretendIdontunderstand
6:55pm – Talking about the great mystery of God being 1 but 3 different things & and the message is we can be different but unified
7:04pm – Birthday #mass is over. Now the babies are being blessed.
7:20pm – #Lechona is being served.
7:45pm – We got served last despite being closest to the kitchen 😦 #lovelechona
8:05pm – Meeting more extended, removed and estranged family members. Colombian families are confusing.
8:20pm – Hometime. Getting a lift with the bro-in-law. #awesome #lucky #nonightrideTransmilieno
8:30pm – Birthday granny was a nun for 20 years! #thatexplainsthemass
8:31pm – Happy 80th birthday Dona Elia!
9pm – Family commitments met for a little while. #happyColombianfamily #phew